


A Sempiternal Vow

by Voido



Series: Pretty self-indulgent Inaba post canon [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Art Trade, Camping, Fluff, M/M, True Ending Spoilers, kissing under the moonlight, try and stop me using that tag, you cant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 04:21:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15040604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voido/pseuds/Voido
Summary: Upon finally seeing Akira again, Ryuji realizes that he hasn't expected things to change so little yet so much.





	A Sempiternal Vow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mayusuki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayusuki/gifts).



> Dear mayusuki,  
> I really hope that this fic is in any way to your tastes. I wanted to make it pure, innocent fluff, but I suppose I'm never fully capable of doing that without at least a little melancholy.  
> ♥

When Ryuji first sets foot on the Inaba station heights, he's hit with the realization that while he's never doubted this moment would come one day, he's actually never expected it to come so _fast_. Suddenly, his hands feel sweaty, shaky, and he's nervous for reasons he doesn't even understand. There's nothing dangerous or scary up ahead, and the pouring rain doesn't make him uncomfortable either, so he really doesn't know why he looks around cautiously, clings onto the suitcase in his hand and almost aggressively keeps checking his phone for confirmation.

“I'm glad you could make it.”

He jumps yet freezes right after, voice as soft as he remembers it, words as appreciative as ever, and suddenly, something hovers over his head; it's an umbrella, and it finally has him turn around and stare into the eyes he may or may not have been worried he wouldn't be able to see for months, or maybe even lose forever.

Really, accepting that there's someone who actually wants him around has never been one of Ryuji's biggest strengths, and it shows.

But he sees the genuine smile, thinks back to all the things they've been through, the hours and _hours_ they've spent together playing games and reading manga mindlessly, and even though Ryuji normally tries to limit his physical invasion into people's privacy as well as he can, he can't help letting go of his luggage and throwing his arms around his best friend to hug him a little more tightly than needed, judging by the surprised sound coming from him.

“You're full'a shit, Akira!”

And then, more quietly, because it's what he's initially meant to say, and even though it's always been something they've both known, it's never wrong to put it into words:

“Damn, dude. So glad to see ya.”

He hears, _feels_ a soft chuckle against his cheek, and a single arm slowly wrapping itself around his middle, fingers burying into the fabric of his admittedly way too thin jacket. He isn't sure how long they stand there, in a sloppy yet blissful embrace, but when they let go and part just slightly, Ryuji finally understands why he's been nervous in the first place: This is the first time ever since they first met that he's had absolutely no clue what to expect; the smile on Akira's lips is genuine, sure, but he also looks tired, and Ryuji remembers himself saying how he doubted that people would accept Akira back.

He hates the possibility of having been right about that.

“Let's get out of here, shall we?”

Realizing how cold it's become, he nods. Before his mental eye, he can see two cups of steamy coffee waiting for them, and he can almost hear Morgana's voice in his head, scolding him for whatever mindless thing.

It won't be the same as sitting in a booth at Leblanc, it will lack the engulfing café atmosphere; but as long as Akira's there with him, Ryuji knows that neither of those facts could bother him any less.

\--- ---

“Shit, dude! I almost forgot.”

He doesn't specify what he means, but he doubts he needs to, because the way he looks up at Akira's house should be explanation enough. Not that Ryuji hadn't been here before – because he has – but that doesn't mean the place doesn't still leave his mouth wide open in awe – because it does.

“It's really not that great,” Akira replies, sounding bored and maybe a bit sheepish, one hand buried in his pocket now that the rain has stopped, and the other already searching for the key.

“Whatever you say, man.”

The door opens, and the first thing greeting them is a very disappointed looking cat lying on the carpet few meters from the entrance. If cats can squint, Morgana sure does right now, and even though they fight most of the time when they're around each other, Ryuji can't help but grin and feel a bit delighted.

“Oh? I wondered if you'd ever make it back in that weather. Not surprising that Ryuji isn't dressed properly.”

“At least I'm not too chicken to go out in the rain, you damn cat!”

“Maybe I just didn't want to see your face, you buffoon!”

“Who's a buffoon you goddamn stupid-”

“Now this'll be a fun week, won't it.”

They both shut up at how dry, how harsh and unexpectedly angry Akira's words sound, and Ryuji realizes that _maybe_ immediately starting a fight – no matter if it's serious or not – isn't the nicest way to spend the time they've been waiting for to come.

“Sorry, man.”

He watches Morgana bow down suspiciously, make a hissing sound, turn away and leave, up the stairs to whenever. It's over-the-tops childish even for that goddamn cat, and Ryuji can't help but wonder what's wrong. Maybe he's been right about worrying; maybe life here hasn't been as easy and relaxed as Akira has been trying to make him believe.

“I…suppose he's lonely, out here,” Akira explains, scowling and never lifting his eyes from the floor, as if there he could see an answer to all his worries. Cautiously, Ryuji dares to grab his arm, squeeze it tightly and murmur, in a voice more silent than he even knew he could manage:

“Are…you lonely?”

He never gets an answer, and when he sees a bittersweet smile form on Akira's lips before he leads them into the house, he knows he doesn't need one.

\--- ---

Things get better almost alarmingly fast. They've barely decided to share a room for the week – because really, the place is empty enough, and there's absolutely no reason to have two rooms between them when they both know they'll be playing games together until deep in the night – when they're already back to their Tokyo-selves, switching between old-ass games, semi-interesting manga and shitty TV shows over and over until it's suddenly evening and definitely time for food. After having avoided to ask the whole time until now, Ryuji can't help but throw careful looks around, desperate for a sign that anyone but them is around, or proof that it's not the case. And because Akira knows him better than a normal person should be able to, he sighs, putting down the coffee he's just made, and smiles weakly.

“There's no one else around.”

The words are finite, and it's the first and only time they bring the question up if Ryuji can have his way, because he hates how little interest there is in Akira's voice; he's always monotone, unreadable, sure, but right now, he's _indifferent_ , like he doesn't have a care left to give, and it hurts, and Ryuji never wants to see that careless _whatever_ -motion he does ever again.

“I wasn't gonna ask, man.”

“It's painfully obvious you wanted to.”

Right, that he definitely can't deny. He claps Akira on the back, half-consciously letting his hand linger for a little longer than needed, grins when he sees him try to smile, and shoves him towards the counter so they can finally get to cooking – because damn, has time flown and damn, is he hungry.

“We could go camping one of these days…if you want to,” Akira suddenly proposes rather quietly when they're done cooking, each of them with a bowl of udon in front of themselves on the floor in his room, legs crossed, a blanket thrown around them, shoulders touching, the TV on only to add some white noise, and for a second, the words have Ryuji stop in his tracks. It's a great idea, and he can't wait for it, but that's not the point; Akira's hiding something, like he has been all these weeks ever since they've parted, and for the first time, Ryuji notices it like a thick colorless wall between the two of them.

“Whaddya mean if I wanna? Sure, let's do it.”

The silence between them isn't pleasant – it's an ugly reminder of time having passed by, of things not being the same if you meet after weeks instead of after two days, of having kept ugly truths from each other in all the time, pretending to be okay. Ryuji dares to look around the room; it's somehow empty, way emptier than the attic, with the only things fully unpacked being the gifts Akira has gotten from his friends over the course of the year in Tokyo, and maybe his clothes. But some of the stuff he had back there still seems to be in cardboard boxes, and judging from how they've been thrown into a corner, it doesn't seem like they're going to be opened soon.

Thinking about it, the only things Akira really seems to use are his clothes, phone, TV and the bed, which makes sense on one hand, but is really sad on the other.

“Is this…are we fighting or something, dude? I'm…confused,” Ryuji admits suddenly, lets go of his spoon and pushes the bowl away a bit so he can't accidentally knock it over in case their argument gets in any kind of way heated. Akira looks shocked, offended even, but seemingly can't deny it from the get-go either. Ryuji can't remember a single instance of them truly disagreeing with each other, let alone fighting, so the current tension between them worries him, makes him shiver.

“No,” Akira answers then, voice week, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt, an undecided look on his face, and sighs weakly. Just when Ryuji wants to reach over and assure him that things are fine, that things _will_ be fine, he notices Morgana getting up from his spot on the bed, walking over and kneading Akira's shoulders. It looks casual, like a normal thing between them, and it makes sense, since they're really the only thing each of them have had in all this time.

“I _know_ , Morgana.”

Ryuji doesn't, and for the time being, he figures that he's not supposed to.

\--- ---

Two full days pass until Ryuji finally understands the kind of topics he needs to evade for Akira to be okay. Anything that could lead to his family or former friends from around this place is absolutely taboo, as is school and also questioning the way he shyly makes offers for what they can do as if they'd only known each other for three weeks. It hurts, because Ryuji does _not_ want to see his best friend, his personal _hero_ to go through this kind of insecurity, especially if he doesn't understand where it origins in, but he dodges all the dangerous topics as well as he can, and things start to settle down between them. They return to playing games mindlessly, to him accidentally spoiling manga chapters which Akira hasn't read yet, to being lazy until deep in the night and passing out after the fifteenth time Morgana tells them to finally go to sleep.

Then, on the fourth day, Ryuji awakens with the realization that their time together is almost half-way over, and it aches in his chest – even worse than back when Akira left Tokyo, because this time, he knows that things aren't okay; he knows that they both aren't fine without each other's company, and he also knows that four days aren't even close to enough to find out what exactly is the problem, let alone fix it.

Ryuji yawns passionately and looks over – Akira is still fast asleep, looking peaceful enough for the time being, Morgana equally passed out on his belly. It's an adorable sight, and one he doesn't want to interrupt, so Ryuji decides to get up on his own and go grab some groceries for all of them – something they've been avoiding to do until now, because being lazy was honestly too much fun and there've been so many other things to do besides waste time in a supermarket.

“Well, hope I don't get lost,” he mumbles to himself after getting ready and grabbing the key from the box next to the door, deciding that it's probably fine all things considered, and leaves the house to jog to the next convenience store – bless phone maps. Luckily, the next store is surprisingly close considering how suburban everything feels, and he makes it in less than ten minutes. The place is unnaturally empty, although he supposes that this is nothing out of the ordinary around here. Unlike Tokyo, this place isn't always busy, and suddenly, he can't stop thinking about how he'd feel if he'd have to face this sheer nothingness everyday.

“Shitty, that's how,” he tells himself strolling through the aisles, looking for some stuff they could need. Grocery shopping doesn't even come close to one of his favorite activities, because it involves more thinking than moving, and that's a combination Ryuji is terribly bad at.

Thinking back to Akira's suggestion to go camping – which, in hindsight, sounds more like a silent plead in Ryuji's head – he decides to grab some extra stuff for that, too, although in all honesty, he's hardly ever gone camping before – he remembers one time in middle school, but that was absolutely shit and boring and he remembers falling face first into some mud and people laughing at him for it.

No. This time, he's older, he's here because he wants to and Akira is the best person he's ever met in his life, so he won't allow bad memories to taint their plans. He manages to smile, and when his eyes land on a small convenience fridge right next to the checkout, he decides that he's having a good day and grabs some medium-priced sushi for all of them, including Morgana.

\--- ---

It's raining like hell when he's halfway through his walk back – running with bags in one's hands isn't any fun at all, and also not very safe; he could drop something, the bag could tear or the sushi could pop open. And he definitely doesn't have enough pocket money or the patience to go back and buy some more.

When he opens the front door, he can hear music from one of the rooms, comparatively loudly, and sticks his head in to see Akira lie flat on the carpet, eyes closed and humming along as if he doesn't have a single care in the world.

It's not the first time ever that Ryuji thinks the words about his best friend, but it's definitely the first time the thought itself manages to make him blush.

_He's perfect._

Shaking his head to get it free, he drops the bag and walks over, leans down and nudges Akira's side to let him know he's not alone anymore.

“This looks like good therapy.”

“It is. Join me.”

He doesn't, but he sits down legs crossed and watches, lets the soft sounds carry him away a bit, too, and allows himself to reach out and run a hand through Akira's incredibly messy hair. It's neither the first nor the last time he'll do it, but it's always something new and special – intimate, appreciative, a positive reminder. He never really lets himself think about how much he misses it when he can't do it, but right now, he wants to keep the moment forever, to never let go.

He wants things to _stay_.

And that's why, when the playlist finally stops and Akira sits up, the smile on his face looking real and refreshed, Ryuji leans in a bit closer, throws an arm around his shoulders and says:

“I could totally go for campin' today, dude.”

They stay in their questionable position for a while longer, leaning onto each other and bathing in a presence they both know they'll have to accept can't stay forever, but will always be there.

For now, that's enough.

\--- ---

To his own surprise, when he offers the convenience store sushi as soon as Morgana enters the room and they plan their day, the cat announces that he doesn't want to join them. On one hand, Ryuji can't deny being glad – not because of Morgana, but for the chance of talking to Akira without anyone else around – and yet, it's weird. He's not here to tear the two of them apart, after all.

“U sure, Mona? It's kinda fun and ya won't get wet in a tent.”

“Without planning to insult you – sometimes you really can't take a hint, Ryuji!”

“What!”

If it's not an insult, then what exactly is the hint, he wonders. Morgana not wanting to be around him too much isn't new – Ryuji is well aware of the fact that he's too loud sometimes, and that sensitive cat ears can't deal with it well, but it has barely ever bothered Morgana enough to downright _leave_ or _stay behind_.

So whatever it is that makes him block the offer to go, too, it must be something important, and somehow, Ryuji thinks that he might finally learn the truth about what is wrong later today.

Suddenly, he doesn't feel even half-way ready.

\--- ---

When they've finally packed their stuff – Akira smiling contently when Ryuji comments on how much actual camping equipment he has, casually mentioning that it's something he used to do a lot as a kid; which, really, kind of doesn't sound like Akira at all, but Ryuji still likes the idea _immensely_ – big dark gray clouds cover the sky, and there's no doubt it's going to rain later. Personally, Ryuji doesn't mind – he's used to running in any kind of weather during any season of the year at any time of the day; Akira, though, he knows won't even like to leave the house without an umbrella if there's a _chance_ for it to rain, so Ryuji decides to stop before they can get far.

“You sure this is cool with ya? I'm okay with rain, but only if you are.”

“I'm fine with any weather as long as you're around, Ryuji.”

Well, that's fine, too, and yet somehow, it makes him blush and causes him to pick up the pace and walk ahead slightly, grinning and swallowing hard because _what the hell_ , why do these words fluster him so much?

He slows down when he remembers that he's never been here, so it's probably not a good idea to lead the way into the nearby forest, potentially getting them into the middle of nowhere. From the looks of it, Akira does not only have lots of camping equipment, but also _experience_ , and Ryuji can't help but be amazed by yet another thing his best friend is capable of – honestly, though, it shouldn't surprise him.

“This spot is good,” Akira suddenly announces after heaving let them into a small clearing of sorts. It does look like a good spot, if Ryuji's limited knowledge about camping is enough to judge that kind of thing.

“Sure. Fine by me, dude. I, err, don't really know much about this stuff anyway?”

“That's fine. There's a river nearby and I like watching the stars from there, is all.”

Akira sounds melancholic, a little sad even, and Ryuji figures he probably _is_ , but instead of answering to it just nods and does his utter best in trying to set up the tent.

And trying his utter best, in this case, means causing it to fall flat on the ground twice on accident, making Akira burst into delighted laughter both times, and a third time on purpose just to hear that wonderful sound again. Eventually, they succeed, although the sun is already setting when they've finally put everything into place.

“Damn, took forever cause'a me. Sorry, dude.”

“There's _nothing_ to apologize for. Hey, let's head over now.”

They do, and Akira surely hasn't promised too much. The way down to the river is a little hilly, which means it's quite comfortable to lie down on and stare up at the full moon and the stars. They're silent for quite a while, close enough for their sides to touch, their fingers to linger close to each other's in the grass, and Ryuji considers, just for a moment, to lean in further, close the gap between them and pull Akira into the hug he knows they both need and deserve.

But he stops when he looks over and sees the blissful smile directed at him, watches the hand slowly reaching for him and cupping his cheek, thinks back to the countless times they've been this close and yet always a little apart, and then, like a brick, the realization hits him.

“I never want to let you go.”

They aren't his words, it isn't his voice, he isn't the one bringing up the courage to say it out loud, but Ryuji still feels the exact same feeling explode in his chest, reaches out as well, shyly, anxiously, and leans in far enough for their noses to touch. Akira chuckles; it's real and it's honest and it's all that matters, but then he explains and Ryuji feels himself blushing.

“Is this an _intentional_ eskimo kiss, Ryuji?”

And because he has absolutely no control over his mind in situations like this one, he blurts out:

“M-maybe! Y-you got a problem with'at?”

But instead of answering, Akira tilts his head, still smiling, and leans in just the tiny bit further that's needed for their lips to meet, and Ryuji can't tell if it's the act itself or how cautious Akira is about it that makes his eyes go wide in surprise, but it also doesn't matter _at all_ because he feels his eyes fall shut and finally reaches out to pull him closer like he's been wanting to for so _incredibly_ long now.

It's a soft kiss, innocent, although Ryuji isn't sure if he should judge that, considering he hasn't really experienced many before it. Everything tingles and it's _good_ , but he also finally understands what's been wrong up until this point when he feels a hand grab his shirt tightly, fingers shaking lightly and Akira pulling away with the smallest yet still visible scowl on his face before smiling again.

“W-well,” Ryuji starts because _god_ is he embarrassed for no reason, because on the list of things he's expected to happen tonight, _kissing under the moonlight_ is somewhere _very_ far down.

“That's quite nice,” Akira then interrupts him casually, and it's enough for the pressure to fall from his shoulders and make him laugh. Somehow, no matter the situation, all Ryuji needs as a reassurance is Akira's voice – his presence, just _him_ in general.

“Y-yeah. It kinda is. I…uh, I suppose I get Mona's hint now.”

They both laugh, and in the blink of an eye, things return to normal – they lie back down on the grass, watch the moon and the stars and listen to the sound of the water.

The only difference, really, is that their fingers aren't lingering on the ground – now, they're softly and thoroughly intertwined with each other's, and when Ryuji dares to close his eyes, shifting just a small bit closer to the body right next to his, he can almost feel what it would be like to keep it like this and never let go.

Smiling, he decides that maybe, neither of them has to.

\--- ---

The rest of the week passes by in what feels like a moment. One day they spend running until late into the afternoon, afterwards passing out on the sofa with absolutely no energy left. Another they decide to watch a new action movie in the theaters, and when they get out, they decide to rewatch the whole series as soon as they get back home.

The very last day is undoubtedly bittersweet, even though neither of them mentions Ryuji's incoming departure with even a single word. Everything they do is silently consensual, be it preparing food or packing or walking around the town because of Ann's actually _offended_ voice mail about not having gotten even a single pretty picture yet.

It's only when they arrive at the station in silence, rain pouring as awfully as on the day that Ryuji arrived, that they finally look each other in the eyes in full awareness of what's about to come.

“So? Told you there's nothing to see here.”

It catches him off guard, but only for the shortest of seconds, right before Ryuji laughs and knocks their shoulders together amusedly and tries _so_ hard to be casual when he reaches for Akira's hand, even though somewhere inside he can't deny he's flustered and a little confused and maybe dying a bit because he's never expected any of this to happen between them.

Even so, he can keep his voice steady when he replies:

“Yeah, well, my point's standing: You're here.”

And then when they come to a halt and he drops his luggage, pulls Akira into the millionth hug these last days, he finally brings up the courage to mumble:

“That's all I could ever ask for.”

He gets a soft hum as a reply, and maybe that's enough. Knowing that no matter how far they're torn from each other, there'll always be the day on which they meet again; they'll always be waiting patiently for the other to return. Things may hurt sometimes, try and tear them apart, but when they both manage to keep up an honest, genuine smile even when the doors close between them, they both know that it's alright. There's not a single day where they won't fight to be with each other.

When Ryuji finally decides to go grab a seat, fishing his phone from his pocket to shoot a text only to find that he's already received one, there's not a single thing that could make him believe that it's a fight they may ever end up losing.


End file.
